Life and Death

In this so called ordinary life of mine,
Out of all the events, happy and sad;
Nothing has left me so dumbfounded
Than the news of death arriving at my door!

Be it someone you loved or hardly knew,
Be it someone you saw every day,
Be it someone you hated deep in your guts,
Before you realize, you will find a tear in your eye…

For death is such an evil that it comes with no warning,
It visits you when you least expect it…
It happens so quick that it will leave you in shock
And you will take a life time to sink the pain caused by it.

Moments like this makes you think irrational,
Moments like this questions the very belief of fate.
You will find yourself in contradiction,
Thinking if we have a say in this strange phenomenon.

I know that we don’t live forever,
And that if one was born, one ought to die someday as well.
But the impact that a person’s death triggers in our lives
That is the loss, which we won’t be able to get past…

The tragedy here is that when a life ends,
It is not just  that we will miss them having around in our life;
The fact that all their unfinished dreams and hopes,
All those things they intended to do in their life will remain incomplete forever…

Only respect we can pay is to remember them,
Only remedy to this disaster is to keep them alive in our hearts,
So that they will be a part of our memories,
And then we can move on with the journey of our life…

Fear and Hope

What is it that you fear the most in life?
Is it the feeling you might die someday?
Or is it the dread that you might end up poor and hungry?
Well, if you ask me I will tell you my fear.

For more than anything there is this terror inside me,
Which is making me feel so helpless…
There is this fear in me which makes me paralyzed;
And it is the fear of losing someone I love more than myself.

I can feel the monster consuming my soul like a parasite.
I may sound insane ; but I really don’t care!
For I have never been this worried in my life,
And I have never faced something this strong!

It is when you realize that there are some things beyond your control,
And some things that you can just watch and wait to  let it happen.
It is when every night becomes a question of survival,
And every minute passes with a silent prayer…

If I could find a little hope somewhere in my heart ,
A belief that everything will end up fine
I would have survived this dilemma,
I would have found my path…

I know that I must come out of it somehow,
As they expect I should fight my fear…
I try to close my feelings inside me,
I try to hold my tears and show a courage that is phony.

Lately it struck my mind as a sudden awakening,
That I should not fear, but only hope for the good!
As they say you can either surrender yourself to fear,
Or emerge out of it bearing hope in your heart!

My heart sings to you...

My heart sings to you, hoping to make you listen;
Please be with me always like this dear,
For I won’t be able to make it without you.
And if any life is left inside me,
It is all because of you, only because of you!

Sometimes I think why I depend so much on you,
What would I do if I am to lose you?
The very thought itself is so disturbing that I go blank;

Why do you pretend as if you don’t hear me?
For I know you can see me through
Why do you ignore my words,
When you feel the same for me?

It is ironical that sometimes I even like the distance between us;
Despite missing you, for I like the way we connect to each other.
It is when you are thought of most; that I feel my love for you inside me so intensely…

If only you swear to be mine forever,
I can reclaim my life, or at least die with pride!
And my heart sings to you, hoping to make you listen
My heart sings to you, do you still care?

Late Realizations

How could I not realize that you were meant to be mine…
How could I not see the things that you would do for me…

Why did I shut down my mind to you back then…
If only I could foresee, if only I surrendered…

I would have been in your arms and my life would not have taken its treacherous path…
Still I m glad that I could find you in this late hour;

And that I took chance this time with you
Although little did I anticipate that this would turn out to be the most eventful time of my life...

I wish you know…

I used to believe that I was cursed to endless grief in life;
For I was always deceived by false promises;
And I was too baffled that I lost trust in everything
I refused to come out of my protective shell of confinement.

Then out of nowhere a ray of light shone towards me
I was engulfed by astonishment and fear;
For I wondered what was that sudden brightness
And who was it to illuminate my obscure world!

 I slowly opened my eyes out of bewilderment,
You stood there ahead, your face with an auspicious smile
Your eyes sparkling like embers with a look I couldn’t understand
And you extended your hand towards me, persuading me to take it.

I am not yet sure what made me to come along with you
And why I was hesitant in my heart;
I think I was too hurt to have hope again
And I thought that I had nothing to give for everything was taken.

I tried to make you leave by warning about my tormented past,
But you were persistent on staying beside me.
You said you want to take away my pain; you want to give a new life to me,
I still couldn’t believe as I thought it was too mesmerizing to be real!

And now I rest in your arms leaving all my distress behind;
Pondering all those things we have been through,
I feel an eternal bliss inside me which I don’t know how to express
I feel heavy in heart with all the things I have to say to you.

I wish that you could figure out somehow that how much I love you;
I wish you know that you are the best thing that happened to me,
I wish to promise that I would do whatever it takes to be with you;
And I wish that I will be your girl, always and forever!

Lost

Intrigued by the twisted games that my mind plays with me;
As if psyched by a wicked conspiracy against me,
I stumble across in the dark, trying to find my way out;
I try to cut myself loose of the chains that enslave me…

Contrary to faith that I was capable of liberating myself,
I now feel threatened, that I am on the verge of giving up;
Will there be signs to show me the way to my destiny?
Or will I be stupid enough to desist in the half way?

Each day seems like a struggle for me that I feel lost;
Confused and startled, I retreat to a world of myself!
Waiting for the storm to come and perish me,
For I have reached a point of no return and I have nowhere to go…

Still I yield to the idea that I may get rescued;
And I may find a life with all the answers I seek…
Countless cries of pain and plea of help go in vain,
Will I ever attain salvation and end all these once and for all…

Break out...

Take me back in time to a place where I used to be with you,
Take me back in time when life used to feel so simple ,
Take me back in time when everything that happened made sense,
Take me back in time when money and love didn’t matter…

All that appears like a dream now, as if I was sleepwalking,
Where did all those happy days go? Those friendly faces that made life easier,
I am getting sick of the monotony of my daily existence,
And all I could hear is the wailing sound of my soul to break out!

I wake up every day, hoping for a change,
I walk every step, thinking I might find something new today,
I wish I could pretend that I am happy,
I wish I could hold my tears and put up with a nonchalant smile…

I wait for the time to unravel what is to become of me,
I let the blessings of people; who love me work wonders,
I confess like a coward that I am afraid to fight more,
And all I could hear is the wailing sound of my soul to break out!